Recording |
June 15, 2005. Angel Studios, Islington, London. Midway through recording their new album, the Pet Shop Boys have booked an orchestra session to record string and brass parts on three of their new songs. Neil and Chris sit at the back of the studio control room, off to one side behind the mixing desk. Through the glass they can see the musicians filtering in and unpacking their instruments. Trevor Horn, the producer, comes in and Neil moves to get up. āTrevor, you can sit here,ā he says. āNo, I normally sit down there,ā explains Trevor, pointing to a position in front of the mixing desk as close to the musicians as possible while staying on this side of the glass. He says that they need to get moving if theyāre going to get through all three songs. āI might go home,ā says Chris, though he makes no move to do so, and seems happy enough here; it just seems to be the kind of thing he says at times like this. Instead, he and Neil chat about the Michael Jackson trial verdict from the day before. Trevor tells the string arranger, Nick Ingman, that theyāre going to do the song called āIntegralā first. āIām just going to nip to the loo before we start,ā he says. āāNip to the looā,ā repeats Neil. āSounds like a folk song.ā He points out that they have recorded strings in this studio before. āWe did āRentā for Liza Minnelli here. āGetting away with itā. Quite a few things. We did āDreaming of the Queenā here.ā The microphones are on in the orchestraās room; we can hear them talk to each other. āWhat time is it?ā one says to another. āWell after half past three,ā comes the answer. They were booked to begin at half past three. The rules are very strict when you employ classical musicians ā you either finish three hours later when the session is due to finish, or pay heavily for any overrun. āGood afternoon,ā Nick Ingman tells them. āāIntegralā.ā Pages rustle and flap on music stands. āInto bar nine, āIntegralā, avec mci, please,ā he instructs. They play the arrangement he has written, by sight; this is the first time they have seen it. āJolly good,ā he says. āBar 33. One, two.. After a while, thereās a huge melodramatic symbol crash. āSounds a bit over the top, doesnāt it?ā sniggers Chris. Theyāre still finding their way, and Neil worries whether theyāll be in tune. āSounds a bit like a school orchestra,ā he worries. āDonāt worry,ā Trevor reassures him. āTheyāll be in tune.ā The orchestra chatter. āAre you marked āforteā?ā one asks his neighbour. Chris picks up a copy of Private Eye that is lying on the mixing desk and starts reading it. āDiscipline, discipline,ā mutters one of the musicians. Trevor queries one of the percussion sounds. āFrank, is there any way you can get any more tone out of the spanner?ā he asks. He suggests that the orchestra now start playing along with the Pet Shop Boysā recorded track. āBit of track coming, folks,ā Nick Ingman tells the musicians, as though it is some kind of gentle warning. They play along. āCould we have another five per cent of the vocals?ā In the control room, Neil picks up an aviation magazine called Pilot and starts browsing through it. āI thought it was a yachting magazine,ā he says, as though this would somehow explain his interest. Soon he puts it down and shows Literally the brochure for a new play, Telstar: The Joe Meek Story, which he is planning to see as soon as it opens. Itās about a legendary eccentric record producer who made a series of remarkable, sonically innovative records then met a sorry end. āDonāt you like ā Telstarā?ā he asks. āDonāt you like āHave I The Right?ā by The Honeycombs?ā The musicians do a full run-through. Neil and Chris laugh, amused at the most over-thetop moments. āWe might not use it all, you know,ā Neil says. Trevor says that they need to split the musicians up into smaller groups. āThereās a lot of racket,ā he says. āExciting, I thought.ā āThat timpani roll,ā laughs Chris. āHilarious,ā says Neil. āFrom their new album, Hilarious.ā They listen back to the recording of the orchestra. Chris raises his fist. āVery Wagnerian,ā nods Neil. āIt sounds like the overture to a showā says Chris. āIt does, doesnāt it?ā Neil agrees. Gavin, who leads the strings, comes into the control room to have a listen. Trevor tries to introduce him to Neil and Chris but they point out that they have known him for years ā since the recording of āLeft to my own devices āāLeft to my own devicesā was the first string session we ever did,ā Neil points out. āTwenty years ago?ā suggests Gavin. āNo~ā corrects Neil. āSeventeen years ago, to be precise. Studio One, Abbey Road.ā Neil picks up Pilot once more and Trevor explains that the best bits in the magazine are the details about safety matters and recent crashes. āTrevor has an unhealthy interest in plane crashes,ā Neil observes. Nick Ingman gives the string section new instructions. āInstead of what you have please play your lowest D.ā āD? Or B?ā queries one of the players. āD,āsays Ingman. āFor ādisasterā. And as big and loud and juicy as possible.ā The instructions continue: ā… Pete, you know that quaver thing?ā āItāsforte from bar nine, the m.f has gone…ā and so on. He chats with Trevor about the fact that the harp player hasnāt turned up yet. The songās relentless chorus hammers out: āIf youāve done nothing wrong youāve got nothing to fear. If youāve something to hide you shouldnāt even be here.ā Nick Ingman asks them to stop because the cellos are lagging behind. āItās not getting to 4 when I expect it to,ā he frets. āA different world,ā observes Trevor, quietly. āThe skill it takes to do this…ā Chris reads about Camilla Parker Bowles in the newspaper. He doesnāt appear to be paying much attention, though occasionally, without looking up, heāll say something like, āWeāll have to have a proscenium arch for the next show.ā Trevor points out that you canāt get strings recorded for pop records to sound like this in America. (He lives and works in Los Angeles some of the time.) āTheyāre working in a factory ā they donāt dig it,ā he explains. āThese guys sort of understand what you want.ā And in America itās hard to get the A-list players anyway for a pop music session ā theyāre always working on a Stephen Spielberg movie soundtrack or something like that. They play along to the track again. āI wonder when the kitchen sink is coming,ā sniggers Chris. āWith the harp,ā says Neil. āFireworks…ā Chris says. āWe recorded fireworks once,ā Neil recalls. āDid we?ā says Chris. āJulian recorded them at J.J.ās party for the āAlways on my mindā twelve-inch,ā Neil says. āThey werenāt that good though ā they didnāt explode in time.ā āThe harpās arrived,ā Trevor announces. āSomeone wearing a top hat…ā predicts Neil. … some jugglers coming,ā adds Chris. Neil continues the fantasy: āWeāre recording some mime artists this afternoon…ā After a while, Trevor says that heās happy with what they have. āYou can always fix the timing,ā he says. āItās hard to fix the pitch.ā He has two suggestions. One is to the orchestra. āWhy donāt we move on and do āLuna Parkā now?ā The other is to Neil. āShall we put the kettle on?ā At a later date, Neil and Chris explain to Literally the background to todayās session. āOriginally on this album we werenāt going to do strings…ā Neil explains. āOr guitars,ā laughs Chris. āOur original idea in writing the album was to do minimalist electric-pop,ā says Neil. āConsequently as a result weāve made an album of sweeping epics, one after another really. I donāt know how weāve managed that.ā Trevor suggested that they used Nick Ingman for the arrangements. This is the first time they have been in the studio with him, though he arranged the strings on āNumbā which will also be on this album but which was recorded in 2003. āWith the style of these string arrangements, theyāre not incredibly intrusive strings,ā Neil notes. āTheyāre used as a rich texture.ā As he pointed out in the studio, the first time they ever used live strings was on the first song they recorded with Trevor Horn, back in 1988, āLeft to my own devices āIt was the first time we worked with Richard Niles who did the arrangements, and he did a massive arrangement and we edited some of it out. Itās exciting doing strings, because it makes the harmony sound much richer, which I really like. I always like hearing the strings playing by themselves as well ā it gives you a completely different idea of what the music could be.ā They point out that sometimes orchestrations donāt work. āIn this case not at all ā Iāve liked everything ā but we have had situations before,ā says Chris. āBut the great thing is that you donāt have to use everything. Weāve had occasions before where weāve cherry-picked the bits we liked and not used the other bits.ā They talk through these three songs. First, the anthemic āIntegralā. āOne of the ideas for the album is that we took the themes of the songs from contemporary events,ā says Neil. āāIntegralā was inspired by the issue of ID cards in Britain, whereby everyone in Britain is issued with an ID card which has a smart strip on it which collates all of your social security information, any criminal convictions, and other stuff, which also is going to be shared with the United States of America. And it seems to us to go against all British traditions of liberty and freedom. So we wrote this song which is a kind of satire, sung from the point of view of the people who are issuing the ID cards, and sums it up by saying āyour lives exist as informationā which is kind of how things are going in a way… integralā because youāre integral to the governmentās concept; itās what everyone says: āif youāve nothing to hide, youāve got nothing to fearā; the point being that if you have got something to hide youāre not integral to the concept of modern Britain. But we only really like people whoāve got something to hide.ā āTheyāre certainly more interesting,ā says Chris. (He adds one more practical objection to ID cards: āItād be a nightmare for Batman and all those superheroes.ā) They wrote the music in their London studio. āYou started writing the music,ā Neil reminds Chris. āYou didnāt like it to begin with.ā āItās alright,ā says Chris. āItās the sort of thing you might get annoyed with after a few plays. It was just trying to be uplifting really. Itās not easy. People think itās easy doing uplifting four-on-the-floor stompers but actually itās quite difficult, particularly when youāre not in the mood. When youāre feeling like Chris Martin on a good day, itās not easy to do. But we try. We owe it to the fans.ā āI think it sounds threatening more than uplifting,ā says Neil. āMusically itās a bit triumphalist, donāt you think?ā says Chris. āYes,ā Neil agrees. āThreateningly triumphalist.ā āYes,ā says Chris. āItās the state ā itās an overpowering state.ā āIt actually has an influence from Rammstein as well,ā says Neil. āIt reminds me a bit of Rammsteinās song, āAmerikaā.ā He starts singing: āWeāre all living in Amerika… wunderbar …ā āIntregalā also reminds them of Pink Floydās The Wall. āTrevor thinks a lot of things on this album sound like Pink Floyd,ā says Neil. āI, of course, have never really listened to Pink Floyd so itās very difficult for me to judge this. I was never a fan.ā The second of these three songs is called āLuna Parkā. āIt was written about two years ago,ā says Neil, āin the north of England…ā āI think it was done in London,ā says Chris. āYou might be right,ā says Neil. āThey come from the heavens anyway,ā notes Chris. āWeāre just a vessel through which they pass. If anyone else likes it, itās a bonus.ā (Literally readers may like to consider at their leisure whether this represents Chrisās true opinion or is a savage parody of pompous pop star interviews.) āIāve always like the phrase āLuna Parkā,ā says Neil. āYou donāt get them in England,ā says Chris. āWe have Blackpool Pleasure Beach.ā āIn Nice thereās a Luna Park,ā says Neil. āAll across Germany,ā notes Chris. āLuna Park is their name for a permanent funfair,ā says Neil, āand obviously it means something to do with the moon, that you go there at night, lit by the moon. Iāve always thought there were a lot of connotations. ……. lunatic, for instance. So there is that notion that itās madness, and thatās specifically what I liked about it ā the mixture of fun, fear and madness. It struck me as a good metaphor for America. So in the song Luna Park is America. Itās basically a war on terror song. Thereās another song on the album called āPsychologicalā which has a similar theme. Itās basically about how you imagine things, of how being afraid of a directionless terrorism in a way is like being afraid of the dark. In the dark you donāt know whatās happening, and with terrorism you feel where information is concemed youāre in the dark so youāre irrationally scared.ā The third song is called āCasanova in Hellā. āWe wrote that in the north of England,ā says Neil. āChris started writing a song on the grand piano which Iāve got in my house, and Iād had the idea of writing a song called āCasanova in Hellā from reading a book about him… Itās a short novel, Casanova ~ Homecoming, by Arthur Schnitzler who was the Viennese writer at the tum of the twentieth century and it sort of draws upon the idea that Casanova is getting older, and so the song is about Casanova. A woman laughs at him because she thinks heās too old to have sex with her, and he confronts that realisation and gets his revenge by writing his memoirs. And it was his memoirs that made him into a historical figure as well as a literary figure ā he recorded all of his sexual conquests as well as other things in these books. Itās got this very pretty melody that has these sort of dissonant notes in it. When the conductor was introducing it to the orchestra he said something about the words… One word has been changed, though. The word āmasturbateā has been changed to ācontemplateā. It was just too icky.ā āWe didnāt want a parental guidance sticker on the album sleeve,ā deadpans Chris. āWeāre not that type of band.ā Once the kettle has boiled at the back of the control room, Trevor Hom makes his own cup of tea and stares at the jar of chocolate biscuits. āBiscuits around the place, itās deadly.ā āDonāt go there, Trevor,ā counsels Neil. He has one biscuit anyway while the strings run through āLuna Parkā. Chris points out a bit of the arrangement that he doesnāt like. āWe should have Axl Rose singing on this, really,ā says Neil. āHeād sing it really well.ā āThis has got more rock, hasnāt it?ā Chris observes. āI donāt mean in a bad way.ā He shares his reservations with Nick Ingman about the opening passages. āWe can schmoot them up a bit,ā Ingman suggests. āI think theyāve got to do it aggressively,ā Neil agrees. āI think it needs to sound rushed. Itās got to match the piano.ā āWhich is obviously being played percussively,ā states Nick Ingman. He talks the strings through the song. āThereās the famous semi-quaver passage at 65… āhe says at one point. āFamous,ā says Neil, who is enjoying tea and a banana. āPeople talk of nothing else.ā He says that he sat next to the notorious art critic Brian Sewell at a dinner the other night when he was presenting the BP National Portrait Gallery portrait prize. (Neil took the opportunity to note how old-fashioned portrait painting was and reasoned that it must, consequently, have something going for it.) āThis is about Casanova in hell,ā Nick Ingman tells the string section. āListen to the words. Theyāre very good.ā Neil chats with Chris about Sondre Lerche. Chris laughs when the already-recorded Neil sings the word āerectionā in the background. āThat sounded a bit better than I thought,ā says Trevor. Neil worries that some of the string parts sound a bit inconsequential, and says that he doesnāt understand the discordant part at the end. āYou asked that the strings sort of comment at the end,ā Trevor reminds him. āDid I?ā says Neil. āWe can cut it,ā says Trevor. āNo, no, what did I mean?ā Neil says, wondering. āIt might have been a good idea.ā Nick Ingman talks to one of the viola players. āYouāre a tiny bit flowery for me,ā he says. āBecause youāre the bottom viola, if youāll excuse the expression…ā They do another runthrough and he praises them. āLovely,ā he says. āVery limp. Beautifully limp.ā They consider the problematic end passage. āThis ascending chromatic thing which may get cut,ā as Nick Ingman describes it to the players. Chris thinks it should stay on one note; Neil wonders whether it should hold and then slide down. They eventually decide it should just hold. āLovely,ā says Neil. āMuch better,ā Chris agrees. Another playback. Chris teases Neil about his vocal timing. āItās my signature style,ā Neil says. āYou just canāt wait for the beat,ā says Chris. āI think itās too corny,ā Neil explains. Nick Ingman is worrying about something else. āYou can get rid of the semi-quavers at the end of bar 69. Theyāre not a big deal.ā Neil says heās happy. āGreat,ā he tells Nick Ingman. āI loved the flaccid penis.ā Heās referring to a part of the orchestration which amplifies the lyric. āThereās a sort of chamber thing about it,ā Nick Ingman tells him. āItās nice to have something a bit eighteenth century,ā Neil agrees. The engineer picks up the phone then asks whose Mercedes it is in the studio car park ā it is blocking someone. Chris is exasperated, though not for the obvious reason. āHow many years have we been coming here?ā he exclaims. āAnd now we discover thereās a bloody car park?ā āDo you want to get the blowers in?ā Nick Ingman asks Trevor. (He means the brass players.) āThe blowers,ā says Chris. āAnd get the fluffers… āHe has a question for Neil, the question that usually looms during a Pet Shop Boys recording session. āWhereāre we going to eat then?ā he asks. āWeāll worry about that at the time,ā Neil says. Trevor returns to āIntegralā to record the harp part. āWhy isnāt there a menās choir on this, Neil?ā Chris asks. āWould that be going too far?ā The harp is quickly recorded and the āblowersā take their place. (The percussionist is frustrated that he is being left till last, but he is only one person.) As the tuba plays Neil comments, āI expect Harry Secombe to start singing.ā By now, Neil has taken over the copy of Private Eye. The brass play āCasanova in Hellā. āI think thatās fine,ā Trevor says. āThere may have been a bit of air between the two French horns at the end, in tenns of pitch.ā Nick Ingman suggests that they re-do it from bar 63. āTwo bars before the quaver,ā he instructs. āDone,ā says Trevor, triumphantly. āNot bad going,ā says Chris. They are well within the three hours and they only have the percussionist, Frank, to record. āFrank played congas on āClose (To The Edit)ā,ā says Trevor. āHe played with Tina Charles in 1981 on āI Love To Loveā.ā (Trevorās first modest success was as a bass player for the British disco sensation Tina Charles.) Frank adds some timpani to āCasanova in Hellā then some thunder noises to āLuna Parkā by shaking a sheet of metal. When he does so, Chris and Neil look perplexed and Trevor laughs. āThat was fine,ā he says. āItās like sex,ā Nick Ingman notes. āYou hang around for three hours and itās all over in two minutes.ā Frank plays some timpani on āIntegralā which reminds both Neil and Chris of the beginning of University Challenge. Then, finally, he plays the spanner. At 6.04 pm, 24 minutes early, the session is over. Frank packs up his strange sonic implements. āThe thundersheet,ā exclaims Chris. āItās the first time weāve had a thundersheet on the record,ā says Neil. āHow come itās taken us so long?ā Chris wonders. Yoko Ono and Neil onstage at the Royal Festival Hall. June 16, 2005. Yoko Ono and the Pet Shop Boys have agreed to meet in a South London rehearsal studios at 6pm. Tomorrow, Yoko is performing at the Royal Festival Hall as part of the annual Meltdown festival, this year curated by Patti Smith. For her final number, āWalking On Thin Iceā, she is to be joined onstage by Neil and Chris who recently remixed the track. This evening they plan to rehearse a little. Yoko arrives early with her assistant, and seems a little frustrated that no one else is here and that everything may take a long time to set up. In fact there seems to be a little bit of confusion all round; the Pet Shop Boys thought they needed this rehearsal because they would be performing with Yokoās band, lead by her son Sean Ono Lennon. But the band have finished rehearsing some time ago and have left, and a decision has apparently been made that the Pet Shop Boys and Yoko should appear on stage without any other musicians, something Neil and Chris will only discover when they get here. That decided, there really isnāt too much for them to rehearse. Neil and Chris arrive punctually, greet Yoko, and move over to the two keyboards theyāll be playing. Quietly, they confer. Neil wonders whether he can remember the chords. āOh, thatās right,ā he says. āF major, A minor, B minor.ā āIāve written all the chords out,ā Chris shows him. Chris suggests that they hide from the audience the fact that his top keyboard is the machine known as a Radar, through which most of the backing track is being played. āOtherwise theyāll think itās all on Radar,ā he reasons. āAnd it is on Radar.ā He looks around him. āThis is where we did the Potemkin rehearsals, late into the night.ā He and Neil will be playing new keyboard parts over the top, but heās still not sure why theyāre here. āThereās no point in this,ā he says. āI know what Iām going to do.ā He gestures to Neilās keyboard. āAnd Neilās going to dick around on that.ā Neil is asked by Yokoās tour manager how they want their keyboards set out on stage, and Neil talks to him about how strange it is to have discovered that they will now not be playing with Yokoās band. The tour manager seems to suggest that this decision can be reconsidered with Yoko, an option Neil immediately vetoes. āWe have no opinion on anything,ā Neil says. āWe are expressing no opinion. We have no opinion either way.ā Thereās a set list for tomorrow on the floor: āYou IIā, āI Want You To Remember Meā, āWhyā, āWill I?ā, āRisingā, āSnow Falls Silentā, āOnochordā. Neil goes over to speak with Yoko, to clear up any confusion. āThe reason we were here was to rehearse with the band,ā he explains. āIām so sorry,ā she says, and adds, ātheyāre so nervous.ā āI thought it was quite exciting, doing it with the band,ā says Neil. āItās a good song to jam on. If they donāt want to do it, thatās fine as well.ā Neil and Yoko put their arms around each other, and Neil suggests that they run through the song like this anyway. āRight,ā says Chris, a finger hovering over a button on the Radar, āshall we start then?ā Yoko pulls off her black jacket as the drums start up, and begins to dance, her white scarf flying around. This rehearsal studio is a fairly unglamorous, grubby place ā there is no real stage, so she is simply performing on the soiled, threadbare carpet ā but from the moment the music starts she seems completely into it. After a few moments, she steps up to the microphone, and the screaming begins. In Yoko Onoās music career there has been a lot of screaming. She can sing in her own way ā there is a fine half-sung half-spoken vocal for āWalking On Thin Iceā which is playing as part of the backing track ā but often she has preferred to express herself by screaming in her own idiosyncratic way, and that is how she chooses to perform this song. She doesnāt just have one way of screaming, either. Many of the noises that come out of her are more like yelps ā this evening she often crouches down to fully let these out. Before they started, she told Neil that she had lost her voice, but it is hard to imagine that she is holding anything back. To one side, Chris plays some new riffs and Neil creates a series of siren-like whooshes on his keyboard. As the song builds to its climax, Yoko shouts, over and over, āNever.., never… never.., never… NEVER…ā At the end she whispers some words that canāt be heard. It would be an incredible performance in front of thousands; in an empty rehearsal studio it is quite remarkable. Over the years, critics have sometimes questioned how serious and passionate Yoko Ono is about the music that she makes; no one who saw ten seconds of this could remain in any doubt. āBravo,ā says Neil after the end. āThatās fantastic. Youāve got the part.ā She smiles shyly, waves, steps towards the door and says, āSee you tomorrow.ā After she is gone, Neil and Chris mess around a little more. Neil says that it is weird that their keyboards arenāt side by side, and wonders whether that can be changed. Chris agrees. āBecause then we can chat during it,ā he says. They run through the whole track once more, jamming fearlessly and layering all kinds of extraordinary noises over the song. At the end, Chris plays an intricate part that moves up and down the keyboard over and over. āVery prog rock, that, wasnāt it?ā he says. They discuss Yoko. āShe was great,ā says Chris. āTotally fantastic,ā says Neil. āItās not often you get a private performance from Yoko Ono,ā Neil notes. āItās an art performance, isnāt it? She really emotes.ā Chris agrees. āIām still glad we did it, even though it was a waste of bloody time,ā he laughs. āWalking On Thin Iceā was the song Yoko and her husband John Lennon had been recording on the evening in 1980 which ended with him being shot dead outside their New York apartment building. A wonderful, strange, haunting song, it was released as a Yoko Ono single the following year. āItās amazing,ā says Chris. āI bought this record when it came out.ā āI bought it the day it came out,ā says Neil. āI bought it the day before it came out,ā fibs Chris. āYoko sent me a copy,ā lies Neil. āI was there when she wrote it,ā counters Chris, adding to the fiction. āAnyway, I always loved the song so itās a great honour.ā āI was knocked out by it at the time, because actually I didnāt really particularly like the John Lennon stuff from Double Fantasy,ā says Neil, āalthough in retrospect I now quite like that song āWomanā. I thought it was a bit corny at the time but I guess I got over that. But āWalking On Thin Iceā, I thought this was really… and them finishing recording it and they came back to the Dakota… āHe doesnāt need to finish his sentence. Over the years, Neil has followed her art career. (Before she made any music, or met John Lennon, she was known as a conceptual artist.) Neil saw her retrospective at the Museum of Modern Art in Oxford: āThereās this famous piece she did in the sixties where youāve got a board on the wall with a hammer tied to it, and thereās a bucket of nails on the floor, and you get a nail and you hammer it into the wall. I thought, āWow, this is the thing where they had that exhibition at the ICA in 1967,ā or whenever it was, and I picked up the nail and a steward at the gallery rnshed up and said, Iām sorry sir, this is no longer an interactive piece.ā I thought that was a shame in a way, that the piece had become a historical piece in effect, because there were the nails that had been hammered in the sixties. Anyway, I quite like her work ā itās very philosophical. And, without being corny, itās very Japanese, to take simple everyday natural elements like pebbles, for instance, and make a point with them. The song āImagineā comes from a piece by Yoko Ono from her book Grapefruit where she has all these instrnctions like āimagine the sunā. I think theyāre kind of fascinating. Theyāre all quite good ideas, a bit like Brian Enoās Oblique Strategies.ā The Pet Shop Boysā connection with Yoko Ono came through their longterm press officer, Murray Chalmers, who has also long worked with Yoko. About three years ago, when Murray was talking about Yoko, Neil mentioned what a great song āWalking On Thin Iceā was and mooted the idea of them doing a remix of it. (āI knew that she did dance remixes because Tom Stephan had done one,ā Neil points out.) Two years later, they were asked to do it. āItās funny when you get the multi-tracks to do the remix,ā says Neil, āyou donāt get John Lennonās guitar part.ā The released package of remixes, which also included other new āWalking On Thin Iceā mixes by Felix Da Housecat, Peter Rauhofer, Danny Tenaglia and Rui Da Silva amongst others reached number one on the Billboard dance charts. At this stage, they were still to meet her. They had sat on the adjacent table to her in a Soho restaurant one night but didnāt say anything because they didnāt know her. But then about six months after first seeing her, Neil was in the same restaurant with a friend and Yoko came in. This time I said hello, weād done the remix by this time,ā says Neil. āShe was nice. She was very friendly. And I was in New York for New Year, at the end of 2003, and I went to the Dakota for tea with her and Murray. And itās a trip ā you go in, the white grand pianoās there. And we had tea.ā Chris didnāt meet her until they both attended fashion designer Hedi Slimane s aftershow party in Paris earlier this year. āActually she gave me a lift,ā he says. āIt was great ā I was in her car being driven from the Ritz hotel to the restaurant. And I totally understood what John Lennon saw in her originally. Sheās very sexual, isnāt she?ā āYeah ā when I met her in the restaurant for the first time I thought she was quite sexy,ā says Neil. āThat was my first thought.ā A few weeks later, Chris saw her play All Tomorrowās Parties at Camber Sands. Meanwhile, Murray floated the idea that they might play with her at Meltdown. āWe went and met her in her hotel in London two or three weeks ago and discussed what we were going to do,ā says Neil. That was when they planned to play the song with her band. The Pet Shop Boys discuss all of this with Literally over lunch at the National Film Theatre cafe on the day of the Meltdown show, before their soundcheck. āThis is where we met Will Young,ā Chris points out. āHe came up to us.ā Today, the sun is out and Londoners are enjoying their lunchtime in the various ways they do. āWell, isnāt this charming?ā says Neil. āYou can see everyone rollerblading. Itās where everyone pretends theyāre in New York. Itās the jogging-at-lunchtime fraternity, which I never really approve of.ā They discuss yesterdayās rehearsal. āShe has invented a form there no one else has invented,ā says Neil. āāI play my record and I scream over it.ā No one else does that. Also, I was quite moved when she spoke in Japanese over the end. It was quite a lament.ā As they eat, a message comes through on Chrisās phone. Yokoās band are now up for playing along with them and will rehearse with them at the soundcheck. āWell, weāre not up for that now, are we?ā wonders Chris. āIām up for anything,ā says Neilā. Inside the Queen Elizabeth Hall, the band are already playing. As soon as Neil and Chris arrive, they are whisked onto stage to begin working on āWalking On Thin Iceā. Neil chats with Yokoās son, Sean, holding between them a piece of paper that maps out the songās structure. When they begin playing, there are horrible distortion problems with Neilās keyboard. Chris asks if the mix in his monitors can be changed. āI donāt need to hear Neilās that loud,ā he says. āIn fact, not at all.ā Theyāre ready for a complete mn-through of the song. āShall we do it?ā Chris asks Neil. āShall we?ā Neil asks the band. Yoko, who has been sitting in the audience seats wearing a hat of almost top-hat-like proportions, strides to the lip of the stage and climbs up. She does this not completely without difficulty ā itās quite high, and many people would struggle with it ā but she is 72 years old and it is quite remarkable that she can do it at all. Onstage, she talks to Neil for a while, then returns to her seat. The band start playing. Sean thumps out a bassline which reminds Chris of the Steve Miller Bandās āAbracadabraā and the guitarist, Harper Simon (Paul Simonās son), works on a skittery riff After a while they stop and Sean says, āIām sorry ā I just realised thereās a B chord there, right?ā Chris climbs off stage and sits with the Pet Shop Boysā manager, Dave Dorrell. āNice chairs, arenāt they?ā Chris says. āThisād be a good place for Battleshz~ Potemkin.ā Dave nods and says that he saw the films Nosferatu and Faust here. Onstage, Sean holds out Neilās sheet detailing the songās structure and asks, āCan somebody photocopy this?ā It sounds pretty good with everyone playing, but various discussions are taking place between various parties until Neil comes over to Chris and says, āChris, Yoko thinks we shouldnāt do it with the band.ā āThatās fine,ā says Chris. āItās good,ā Neil agrees. āIt sounds like the record.ā Neil confers further with Yoko and Sean and someone asks Chris whether he wants to jump into the conversation. He shakes his head. āNo, all I want to do is hit the start button.ā Yoko stands up and says goodbye. āSee you later,ā says Neil. Sean steps to the microphone. āCan we get the band back onstage?ā he asks. āPaging the Yoko Ono Plastic Ono Band…ā Neil explains to him that they need to run through the song one more time. Sean steps back up to the microphone with a new message for the Yoko Ono Plastic Ono Band. āForget it,ā he says. When Neil and Chris play the song, Yokoās keyboard player plays along. Afterwards Sean tells her that she shouldnāt be playing. āWeāre not going to play on this at all,ā he says firmly. The Pet Shop Boys retire to their homes to rest for a while, and agree to meet backstage at around 730pm. Chris arrives first, and wanders through the green room, not recognising Patti Smith. Neil turns up soon afterwards, and is soon fretting about his clothes. āWhy did Hedi design these buttons?ā he says. āWhy does he make clothes for thin people?ā Chris asks. Neil sighs. āIām going to have a glass of wine. āHeās fallen off the wagon… Chris points towards the dressing roomās tiny bathroom. āThereās a mirror in there,ā he says, ābut itās so horrible that I wanted to disfigure myself.ā Neil has an announcement of sorts. āWell,ā he says, āIām wearing, controversially, two lefthanded contact lenses.ā āWhy?ā Chris quite reasonably asks. āIt makes absolutely no difference,ā Neil says. One is minus 3.5 and one is minus 3.75. And Iāve run out of 3.75.ā Murray arrives, immediately answers his phone (āPam… itās Pam Hogg… Iām with Neil and Chris… Neil and Chris… the Pet Shop Boys… ā, a conversation which greatly amuses Neil and Chris, the Pet Shop Boys) then is summoned to find Yoko an appropriate sandwich. (She settles on hummus and this crisis recedes.) Neil and Chris discuss diets. Neil favours his blood group one. āItās turned into a new religion for me,ā he says. āItās replaced Catholicism.ā Chris says that his sister told him to clean his hat for tonightās performance. āI donāt think it matters that itās dirty,ā he says. āI donāt think itās going to hit the reviews, do you?ā āThe great thing is I havenāt got to sing,ā says Neil. āItās fantastic.ā Their plan is to watch most of the show from seats in the auditorium, and then to slip backstage a few minutes before they are due to appear. They take their seats (which, like all the other seats, have a Yoko Ono postcard and a small torch on them) just before the lights go down. āItās so exciting,ā says Chris. āThis is the second time youāve seen this show,ā Neil says to him. āSheās one of your favourite artists.ā Yoko appears by cutting her way through the backcloth behind the stage. Between each song, she changes from a selection of hats laid out at stage right. āSomebody asked me how many hats I have,ā she says. āI thought that was a rude question.ā Itās a mesmerising performance, musically as well as visually. āWasnāt that great?ā mutters Chris after one particular highlight, the song āRisingā. For the next song Yoko searches for a big flashlight she is supposed to use, to flash out the rhythm she wants the audience to flash back at her, but it canāt be found. Sean also rummages around but comes up empty. āItās probably a blessing of some sort,ā she reasons. Meanwhile Neil and Chris are getting anxious that no one has come to fetch them, as arranged ā the nightmare would be, of course, that they might be suddenly announced while they are still sitting up in these seats. Dave Dorrell decides to lead them backstage. For the encores Yoko puts on a white hat with black headband while someone in the audience shouts out, āLiverpool! Champions of Europe!ā Then she says, āSo we have a surprise for you… here come two beautiful boys,ā and on they walk. āPet Shop Boys!ā she shouts. She performs it just as she had in the rehearsal room the day before, except screaming next to Neil with even more force and abandon. At the end of the song they hug. Chris wanders off the stage and misses the bow, but then returns and they line up, holding hands, with Yoko in the middle. Before leaving the stage for the final time, Yoko gathers her hats. In their dressing room, a satisfied Neil and Chris conduct a brief review of what has just happened. āIt was a contrast to the rest, I think,ā says Neil. āThe main part was so beautiful.ā āWe hadnāt discussed what to do at the end,ā Chris laughs. āMy hands were trembling,ā Neil says. āI donāt think Iāve ever done that before. I made my live keyboard debut.ā āI donāt think anyone could hear me,ā says Chris. āI could hear you,ā Neil says. āYou were doing your Patrick Cowley thing.ā Neil chats in the doorway with Harper Simon about how Yoko has āa natural flange on her voice ā nobody else does thatā. āSheās a wonderful anarchist, or something,ā says Harper. āSheās the Marlene Dietrich of the avantgarde,ā says Neil. āThatās my new soundbite.ā After mingling for a short while in the crowded, sweaty, underground green room, Neil and Chris head off in a waiting car to a party at Sam Taylor-Woodās house. āI feel in just the right mood to go to a party now,ā Chris declares. āWe should always do someoneās encores before a party.ā |